Friday, August 8, 2008

Holding it Together

to kick off my morning, i start by laying in bed reading my blogs. one of which is written by my former boss. i see the picture is of the "for sale" sign in their yard and then i realize it is a post of how their house has sold after 4 weeks. now, a sane reaction to that post would be to get excited for people who are in the same situation as you. however, what happened? i started crying.

we are going on week 9 of our house being on the market with no offers in sight. my husband lives in a different state and works a job that keeps him so busy, i'm lucky to hear from him for 5 minutes a day. not to mention we both suck at talking on the phone and the things we have done during the day just don't seem important enough to talk about when your tired at the end of the day. 

i am desperate to get to atlanta. to live with my husband again. to be able to hang out with friends when i'm there and not feel like i'm missing important time with david. i get really sad when i think about it, so i just try not to think about it and then one day it rushes out as i'm reading matt's blog. 

i will say this...i am grateful for the time i have had here this summer. it has given me a chance to spend some much needed time with a friend that i have missed so ridiculously much the past few months. i have gotten to hang out with a friend who is on a break from teaching in china as well as a friend who stays so busy with music that he hardly sits still. i have been able to go and do without figuring out what the "plan" is. i have realized how God has blessed me with david (you know how you don't know what you got til it's gone?). He has shown what a gift david is. 

i know at the end of this, there will be an amazing lesson but right now i'm having a little trouble seeing the forrest on account of the trees and whatnot. 

(disclaimer: this is not intended to be a pity party or plea of any kind. just a little honesty.)

4 comments:

Greta said...

I feel for ya. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to live in a different state than Bob. I hope this is all over real soon!

Selling houses sucks.

P.S. Joshua??? Really?

Malorie said...

thank you for this honest post.
keep seeking the Lord for clarity, i can't wait to hear all the things he works out in you and dave because of this time.
i love you sweet bek.

ericka b said...

I was crying talking to one of my friends the other day about missing Rusty, and saying "It's just so hard going through life apart from each other!" Her response- "That's because you're not supposed to be apart. You're supposed to be together!"

duh. seems obvious, but it was encouraging for me to remember that. God is relational, and clearly He is pretty pro-marriage (since He invented it and all). Praying His authority over this situation and that the house would go ASAP! In the meantime, praying He romances your heart and that His love is even more tangible these days. Love ya sister!

Lee said...

YUCK! this sucks.
praying for you.. He will see this through!